Marvelous Light

This song is simply beautiful:

I am not who I once was:

defined by all the things I've done,

afraid my shame would be exposed,

afraid of really being known...

but then you gave my heart a home.

So I walked out of the darkness and into the light,

from fear of shame into the hope of life.

Mercy called my name and made a way to fly

out of the darkness and into the light.

There's no place I'd rather be.

You have come to set us free

You are marvelous

Your light is marvelous

[Marvelous Light: Ellie Holcomb]

Yes Jesus loves me

The Lord recently blessed me with an 'aha' moment. A moment that brought me to tears as I reflected on my recent journey and the steadfast love of the Lord.

With the simple yet profound lyrics of "yes Jesus loves me, how wonderful, yes Jesus loves me" pounding through the chapel, I lost my breath a little. It was as though I time-traveled back a year ago... to a time of struggle, doubt, darkness, and pain... when the only things I knew to tell myself were those exact lyrics to that song. All I could do was cling to those words. Over and over again in my head, "yes Jesus loves me" hoping and praying that if I sang it enough I would find it true and believe it.

And because of the Lord's grace, that is what happened.

I stood there with those same lyrics pouring out of my soul but it was coming from a different place this time. I knew with every ounce of who I am that they ARE true. YES Jesus loves me. There is nothing more beautiful, freeing, and undeserved as the truth of those words.

That was the moment it all came full circle. Flashes of the past year flooded through my mind and I saw it. I saw the Lord's faithfulness, grace, and LOVE. All over every moment, every struggle, and every victory. It was Him... because he loves me. He was there leading me to this place of complete and utter dependence on him. This place of JOY, FREEDOM, and LIFE.

and its all true. and its all real. its almost too much to take in.

I will sing those words forever.

Praise the Lord!

Here is the song: You Bled  by: Rend Collective Experiment

How boundless is your love!

Stir up one another

Hebrews 10:22-25

"Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith... Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

When we draw near to God with a heart of faith, he cleanses us.

When we hold fast to him who is our hope, he is faithful.

And then we are able to stir up one another to love and good works; encourage each other.

This is how it is intended to work.

And this is why the body of Christ can be such a powerful thing!

As the Lord fills each of us with righteousness and hope, we stir others up to love and good works. The love and the good works are outpourings of the faith that is inside.

What a beautiful thing :)

RVR staff took a trip to NYC!

He gives strength to the weary

God has shown me his great mercy and grace filled compassion.
His love and understanding is written all over scripture... and how sweet it is!

Isaiah 40:28-31 says,
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

This life is often a struggle. We battle ourselves, our sin, and the world and it is indeed tiring. When we take it upon ourselves to grow and to change, we stumble. But it is those who hope in the Lord (who never grows weary) that will be strengthened. What an exercise in surrender, but what an awesome God to hope in!
In Hebrew, that word "hope" means to bind together. So not only are we to place our hope in God, but we are to be bound to him. Wrap up everything we are in him. Be joined with his every move and every desire. THAT is to hope in God. To trust him. That is where true strength lies.

Thank God for his loving kindness, compassion, understanding, and grace.

By wisdom the Lord laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place; by his knowledge the watery depths were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew.

Proverbs 3:19-20

Shining ever brighter

Humility has been teaching me so many things. It is changing me daily.

Deep down in my soul there has been an awakening. The walls that were separating me from true freedom and life in Christ are crumbling... and it is too good to put into words.

Don't get me wrong, this process has not been easy and is far from over, but it is worth celebrating here and now! O my soul, Praise the Lord.

After a season of struggle, hopelessness, doubt, selfishness and many other things... my faith, trust, and love is growing. My joy is real. My love is genuine... my spirit is alive!

Proverbs 4:18 says, "The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,  shining ever brighter till the full light of day." This is something to hope in! The Lord is faithful to his children. The ONLY way from here is further and further into the light of righteousness if we let him take us there. Man, I'm excited to continue on that path and reach my full life with Him one day, but until then...

It is so good to see the sun again :)

Come on my soul

let down the walls

sing my soul

Be of good faith

Be of Good Faith by: Sisterbrother

Be of good faith, all you children

For we go from strength to strength

For we go from glory to glory

Don't be afraid for he will light

For He will light the path up ahead

For He will guide you

Don't be afraid

He will guide all who believe,

Comfort those who weep

In Him is redemption

He will restore your soul

He will heal your broken wings

He will restore your soul

Be of good faith, all you children

For we go from strength to strength

For we go from glory to glory

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong,firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:10)

Humility is...

At the Ranch, we are encouraged to choose a word for the year. A word to focus on, something to grow in. Something the Lord has brought us to.

My word is humility.

Here is Christ's example of humility. Mark 10:45 "For even the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give up his life as a ransom for many"

And this is what we are told to do. Philippians 2:3-8 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

This is a pretty big deal.

This is what it has looked like in my life already.

Humility is...

asking for help.

being honest.

being patient.

giving God all the glory.

giving up control.

waiting on the Lord.

crying at work.

crying out to the Lord.

recognizing my life isn't about me.

neither is my work.

neither are my relationships.

neither are my hopes and dreams.

admitting faults.

asking forgiveness.

working hard no matter who sees.

learning.

trust.

beautiful.

No time wasted when it comes to our God shaping hearts. Ask him and he will change you.

Ephesians 4:2 "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

Being a good person

Have you ever heard someone say that they aren't exactly sure about heaven or how it works, but they think that maybe if they are a good person and live a good life, they'll get there? Or maybe you've said it.

There are a lot of things that we can't know about the future and the Lord yet, but this is not one of them.

God's word is very clear.

If you've never looked into this, I suggest you open a bible and take a look.

Acts 16:31 says "Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved." That's pretty straightforward. Believe and you will be saved. No where does it say be happy or successful or friendly. Just believe.

Through believing and putting our faith in Christ, He changes us. He takes our sinful brokenness and makes us new. This transformation may be mistaken as "being a good person"

but Romans 3:22 says "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe." Righteousness comes from God. Not from ourselves. He makes us beautiful when we are broken sinners.

Ephesians 2:8 says "For it is by grace you have been saved through faith. It is not from yourself or anything you've done, but the gift of God." We need to lay down our pride, recognize that we can do nothing, and accept the gift of God. The gift that we cannot earn by good deeds or good intentions. It only becomes ours through faith.

We cannot earn our way to heaven.

We can believe and rest in the freedom of Jesus Christ.

New every morning

Why do we worry about things? Why do we worry about the future?

Here is what the Lord tells us about that.

Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

In God's love and provision for his people, the amount of trouble that is planned for you each day is in perfect correspondence to the mercies that will keep you from those troubles. It is perfectly planned.

Therefore, don't carry over into any day troubles that don't belong there.

There will be trouble today. But the Lord's mercies which were new this morning are enough to cover your troubles.

His mercies are new every morning! They are new! They are not for yesterday and not for tomorrow. Trust that those mercies will be there tomorrow when you get there. Trust that promise.

And so on and so on. Day by day.

His power

You know those days where you weed-eat from 8-5?

No? Just me?

Well after two full days of weed-eating I found myself venting (dramatically I do admit) to my coworker Ben about how stinkin' tired my arms were. They were all shaky and weird... pretty much good for nothing. Then came the typical soreness. A couple days after that, as I went about my daily business, I felt a wee bit stronger! Could it be true? That bowling ball didn't seem so heavy... that chair wasn't so hard to lift... those pushups weren't so bad (ok just kidding). Well then I got to thinking...

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 

Our God is not ashamed of our weaknesses, He knows we are weak. He knows we need His power... and boy does he provide it. I diverge from the weed-eating example (that only really gets us so far hah). The more we rely on Him, the more we can be used, the more we grow, the more we bare fruit, and the more we trust God.

Have you ever felt like you were failing? completely useless and weak? Yet something beautiful came out of it? THAT is God. Our weakness for His glory.
I am so thankful for those times.
Our brokenness reminds us how much we need God, which is the bigger truth behind our weakness. They allow Him to shine light through us, so that we can not boast in anything but the power of Christ our Lord. So that we grow closer to understanding Him. Galatians 6:14 says, "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ."

He truly makes beauty out of our brokenness.
The Lord Jesus is the only thing worth boasting in.

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

For freedom

Galatians 5:1 says, "For freedom Christ has set us free."

Does that make sense to you? For me it made too much sense. Obvious. Until I really began to sit with it for a while. Why is it so repetitive? Why does the Lord need to tell us that freedom was the reason we were set free... like we would forget? But we do forget.

I think it is easier to forget that we are free when we forget what we were freed from.Romans 8:2 says, "For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." Through Christ, we are brought out of sin and death. How beautiful.
Yet how do we live in this freedom? How should we live in this freedom? Galatians 5:13 says "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."
This freedom isn't something that we experience just once... as we live in freedom, we are to love freely and serve freely. unhindered by sin and death. We are able to live and love freely because (2 Corinthians 3:17 says), "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

And the Spirit lives in us. So not only do we live in freedom, but freedom lives in us. Wrap your mind around that if you can. Freedom resides in us because the Holy Spirit resides in us. That is powerful. But still we forget.At least I do... I forget the reason that Christ set us free.

The rest of Galatians 5:1 says, "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." It was for freedom. He didn't set us free so that we could worry, so that we could hold back our joy and beauty, so that we could harbor anger or bitterness or doubt, so that we could fear. it was for freedom he set us free. So that we would be FREE.

Do not be burdened. Do not forget the freedom that Christ bought with his blood on the cross.You are free. live like it.

For freedom he set us free. And yes I am free indeed!

He rewrote my name, unshackled my shame, opened my eyes to see...

I am free.

They held up his hands

Camp 5

Have you ever looked around and known that the people who surround you are gifts from God?

People who encourage you, who laugh, who serve, who bring joy, who teach, who grow, who pray, who seek the Lord with you?

Those are the kinds of people that fill RVR. What a blessing.

I know that the Lord provides for our every need and that includes friendships, community, and help.

He shows us in Exodus 17:11-12:

"Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun."

See how God uses people? Brings people into our lives to hold us up when we grow weary?I hope you've experienced that provision in your life and I hope that specific people have come to mind.
Perhaps you should tell them what a blessing they are to you.

Philippians 1:3-5 says, "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now..."

Praise God for your partners in the gospel. Your brothers and sisters in Christ. Your family of believers.

God provides and He deserves all the praise and all the glory.

Just a weekend hike.

Life. Breath. Everything.

Camp 4

I was revisiting an idea from a book called 1,000 gifts by Ann Voskamp. It is a great book about being thankful and recognizing blessings from the Lord in all circumstances and situations.

The idea that stuck with me most is "wherever thankfulness is possible, joy is possible."

Because thankfulness is always possible, joy is always possible.

Always! Isn't that good news??

I have found that true thankfulness comes in its greatest form when I am humbled. When I realize and understand how small I am and how little I can do... in such a good way! Because it means that I am understanding how great HE is.

Acts 17:24-25 says, "The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man nor is he served by human hands..." That is how big he is. He made everything, he is not confined to our temples, and he does not need us. "...as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." Did you catch that? The things that God gives us?

Life. Breath. Everything.

And he gives this to all of mankind, even to those who reject his name. But he still gives.

Everything you have. Every time you breathe. Every moment of your life.

HE has given to you. How lucky are we? I can't help but wonder why...

Acts 17:27 "That they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel their way toward him and find him." He gives so abundantly to us so that we may recognize the blessings and seek their source... Him!

He gives so that we may know him.

That we may know the source of true life, of true love, of true joy.

Oh how beautifully humbling. How thankful. How joyful.

Praise the Lord.

"In his hand is the life of every living thing

and the breath of all mankind."

Job 12:10

Hold Fast

Camp 3
About midway through the summer, I fell into a funk.
It got to the point that I started apologizing to people on behalf of my shortcomings and disappointing attitude. After apologizing to a friend for "making his life harder" he simply stopped me and said, "Who told you that?"
At first it seemed like a ridiculous question... no one told me... no one had to tell me. It was so obvious.
"You're not making my life harder" he said. That helped a little, but not a lot.
As I laid in bed, I just kept hearing "Who told you..." I opened my bible to Genesis 3: the fall of man. After Adam and Eve were deceived by the serpent, they discovered that they were naked and hid from God. Genesis 3:11 says, "And [God] said, 'Who told you that you were naked...?'" They had been deceived. by the devil himself. God didn't tell them they were naked.
After reading this, I got out of bed and started digging into scripture. I had been deceived by the devil too. I had believed lies. lies about myself, my relationships, my work, and even my God.

There is a reason why God tells us to hold fast so many times in the Bible:
Deuteronomy 30:20 ...listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.
Joshua 23:8 ...you are to hold fast to the LORD your God
1 Corinthians 5:2 ...hold fast to the word
Phil 2:16 ...hold fast to the word of life
1 Thessalonians 5:21 ...hold fast to what is good
2 Thessalonians 2:15 ...stand firm and hold fast to the teachings
...and there are many more

Get it??? Hold fast to HIM and His word.
All else will lead you astray and leave you deceived. If the things you believe are not from God, who are they from? Do not hold on to anything other than the truth of God.
In this world where the enemy is real, we can't afford to believe lies.
Hold fast to Him.

Psalm 73

Camp 2
It can be pretty easy to go about our lives and our days without spending time in the presence of the Lord. Even when we live and work in a ministry, read our Bibles, and say our prayers, we can fail to rest in His presence and truth.
Psalm 73 was written from frustration and confusion. The writer was jealous and envious of the wicked because it seemed as though they were prospering. He struggled to understand and struggled to hold fast to God's promises... then he says in verse 16, "But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end." Once the psalmist entered the sanctuary of God, He understood that the wicked will meet their end.

Now I am not saying that his struggles are the same as yours or mine... but whatever you're questioning, whatever the struggle is, understanding it is indeed a wearisome task. impossible even. without entering the presence of the Lord.
Spending time in the presence of God (especially when circumstances are confusing or hard to understand) reminds us of His sovereignty.
This does not mean that we will (or are even meant to) understand everything that goes on around us, but when we spend time with the Lord, we understand enough to rest and trust in His power and truth.
The psalm goes on to say: "But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." It is good to be near God. And when we are near to God, we can live the truth of who He is and what He has done.
Just draw near to Him. Let Him be your refuge.

Sovereignty:

All things are under God's rule and control, and nothing happens without His direction or permission. God works not just some things but all things according to the counsel of His own will... nothing takes Him by surprise.

Love is...

Well summer camp at RVR has come and gone!Whew... what a whirlwind of excitement, energy, the gospel, and growth. Now that this marathon race of adventure is over for the summer, I would love to catch you up on things I have been learning. I have no idea what week any of this took place, but I definitely know that God has been working in my life and in my heart... as always :).

Camp 1...Every day this summer, the six of us program directors got together with our wonderful boss (Dan) and studied the word of God. What a sweet time that half hour was each day... just trying to understand God's love a little bit more.

1 John 3:16 says, "this is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." Love is sacrifice.In this passage where it says ought, it does not mean should. It means to be bound by.
So this sacrificial love we read about is not an option. We are bound by Christ's sacrificial love to lay down our lives for others. Love is sacrifice.

As we have heard so many times, 1 Corinthians 13 says, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." When all of this is viewed in the light of Christ's sacrifice, we see better what we are called to.
We are called to love truly, deeply, and when it is inconvenient.We are called to sacrifice our rights, our pride, our selfishness for love.
We are called to all of this and more. But how?
1 John 4:7-8 tells us, "let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
There it is. Love comes from God because God is love.
And we can only love through Him with Christ as our example.
Rather we can allow Him to love through us.

Once upon a time, I had the pleasure of being a paintball referee! Neat.

Energizing life

Week 37

This week is one of those weeks where things are happening. Life is happening.
In the book I've been reading, the author talks about destiny. He talks about it in a way the describes our longing and desire to do something.
We long for a better life and a better future.
The author says, "pursuing the future we desire energizes and inspires us."
I think this is true, especially when that life and future is with Jesus. When we actively move toward a life and a future that is grounded in Truth, we are inspired.
I found out this week that I will be staying at the ranch next year!
This is a decision that is energizing to me. This is a place where I am able to learn and seek after a life full of truth. I know that God uses the ranch for His glory and I can't wait to be a part of it for another year. :-)

It's just life.

Endurance

Week 36
Within the past few weeks I have started running.
It's been great. I love being active, I love being outside, I love feeling in shape and healthy.
The only problem is that it is really hilly around here.
And for those of us who are from Illinois (aka the flattest land you will ever see), this poses quite a bit of a challenge.
Now call me wimpy, but running up hill is hard!
Takes a bit of will power and perseverance on my part that I am not used to. While I know my body can do it, I also know it would be easier to walk, or stop, or sit down (haha).
But (hopefully) I keep running. Through the woods or on the trail... and when you run uphill long enough around here, you get to the top of a hill where you can look out over all the farms, the rolling hills, and the valleys.
What a place to stop and catch your breath. That run up the hill was worth the view from the top.
This is so much like our Christian journey. I know you understand what I mean... "let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" (Hebrews 12:1).
It is difficult and ongoing, but the beauty is worth it. For sure.

Baptism

Week 35
Almost exactly one year ago (April 30, 2011) I was baptized.
This is easy for me to remember because it is the day after my birthday. I like that these two events are so close together. Each time my birthday rolls around, I am reminded of my baptism which is less commonly celebrated, but probably more important.
At one point in my life, I was unsure why it was necessary to be baptized. My thought was that I already believed and trusted Jesus as my savior, so why get baptized? I did it anyway because I felt it upon my heart to declare my union with Christ in this way.
It is important to realize this is what we are called to do as believers:
“Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38)."
Even Jesus was baptized.
"And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, 'This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased (Matthew 3:16-17).'”
We see Jesus leading by example. Although He does not need to repent and be washed of his sins, He is still baptized. To show faithfulness to God. To show us what to do. And it was pleasing to God.
Reflecting on the past year, I see so much growth in my relationship with Christ. I know that I am being transformed, I know that I have the Holy Spirit, and I know I am growing in faithfulness. And it is pleasing to God.
Bring Him glory through your faithful acts.

Spring at River Valley Ranch!

Good and faithful servant

Week 34
So much talk about the future lately, where am I going to be? What am I going to be doing? And to be honest with you, I really don't know. Yes, I suppose these are important questions that require both thought and action. And I have prayed about this diligently.
But through these prayers over the past few months, I have no specific answer of where, when, or what. But I do have this: "His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master'" (Matthew 25:21).
In my struggle to find the bigger picture of my life, the larger vision and ministry, I think about this verse and I realize I'm not there yet. In a good way.
This verse is an encouragement to me to continue growing and being faithful in the little things... then the big things will come. I do not know what it will be. But I know I am being prepared. and my faithfulness to God is the only path that leads me there. So I will continue down the road of ever growing faithfulness. Now where that physically leads me in this season of life? I don't know that it matters... as long as I am growing in faithfulness.
So that is my plan.
To be faithful till the end. In all things big and small.
I long to hear Him say "well done, good and faithful servant."